一篇32年前的舊作

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▲方偉達老師與張耀文教授於師大附中就讀時合影。

這是一篇32年前的舊作,翻出來,紙張都黃了。而且,我記得還投稿到報社,也登了。最近附中很紅,有時候我都忘記自己是師大附中的校友,還是師大的副教授。反正,這些頭銜我都很珍惜,附中前一段時間,又上報了。看了幾段校友的論述,我有感而發,找了32年之前的文章,練一下打字,看了好笑,我以為我看到了「少年維特」,當時是18歲的我,可以寫;如果現在當副教授,還在寫這一種文字,那我大概是江郎才盡了。

所以,年輕時寫寫可以,50歲人寫不行。50歲在大學服務的老師,要寫SCI、SSCI國際期刊。照片中張耀文,高中畢業後,就沒有看過他了。我只能說,臺大電機學院副院長張耀文特聘教授,非常厲害。花好幾輩子我們都追不上。

兩個學校的LOGOs,師大+附中,剛好是「師大附中」。看來當年很喜歡江淹的《別賦》,「黯然銷魂者,唯別而已矣。」以下是當年寫的文字。刊登於台灣新生報上。

別矣,附中 附中511 方偉達 於民國73年 (師大附中高三學生)

當附中人社社長要求我留下畢業感言時,端詳了良久,一時遽難下筆。

物換星移,人走樓空,當時光如鴻爪在雪泥上不留痕跡,正意謂著屬於輪迴中的你,已獨行踽踽了好長的歲月,卻如在電梯中懵然不知(已經到啦)。

一切都有遞嬗,一切都有綿延。

而且我們走了,尚有另一批傳承的生力軍駐紮在這裡。在射星似泉的夜裡,我毫不猶豫地洋洋灑灑地寫了一大段。

學弟皺眉說:「寫回憶錄呀。」是呀,附中三年點點滴滴,三天三夜都寫不完。其中不乏激惱、哭泣、悲傷。但是一千個日子就是一千個春天。學生的天生爛漫,擁有一季的江中斬蛟、劍氣沖霄;雲間射鵰,愧煞英豪的凌雲壯志。縱使沒有小橋樓頭,滿樓紅袖招的年少綺情。但是附中人該有的,我都擁有了!

聽了學弟的話,為了免遭「退稿」的噩運,我從兩面紙箋中,綴拾了二句話。所謂愛之深,責之切,這也算了我對附中的最後一次批判吧;

「所謂傳統,就是附中傳統以來,標榜傳統的一種傳統;所謂附中精神,就是沒聽過畢業後,學長再爭辯的一種精神。」

在如波動的文化潮流中,一種傳統,賦予創新的意義;一種精神,包含時代的精蘊。有時候,我實在無意走在時代的尖端,但是我欣賞的是直聲動天下,起八代之衰,濟天下之溺,眾人皆醉而我獨醒的高瞻遠矚。

因為我不忍看到駢賦末流富豔頹廢;古文末流的日趨平淡;桐城末流的性靈全無。因為激態的時代會使守舊完全變質。

今天我站在中正樓上,膨脹的風湧進袖口,遠方的七星山上正飄著牛毛細雨。古堡的傾盆大雨,只是時間問題吧,該來的,總是會來的。此刻我乘風遠去;再綴拾一句。

「當小學弟妹們在古韻斑駁的西北樓殘陽下,在春風迤揚的號音悠悠中。爭辯傳統在附中。

射星掠野,炫弄劍酒的詩與美。可曾想過每天留一刻鐘,讓自己的靈魂沉寂。甚至交談,也只限於自己和自己。」

別矣,附中,魂縈夢繞。
不堪回首。

1984於離別前

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98 thoughts on “一篇32年前的舊作

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